More and more relationships are becoming quite serious for young adults, but the traditions of wedlock are becoming a thing of yesteryear according to a new report. Instead of tying the knot, couples are simply just spending time with each other and sleeping over each other's places more, almost three nights a week at least.
Tyler Jamison, a doctoral candidate in the human development and family studies department at the University of Missouri explains:
"Instead of following a clear path from courtship to marriage, individuals are choosing to engage in romantic ties on their own terms without the guidance of social norms. There is a gap between the teen years and adulthood during which we don't know much about the dating behaviors of young adults. Stayovers are the unique answer to what emerging adults are doing in their relationships. As soon as couples live together, it becomes more difficult to break up. At that point, they have probably signed a lease, bought a couch and acquired a dog, making it harder to disentangle their lives should they break up. Staying over doesn't present those entanglements."
The couples in the study with stayover routines were content in their relationships, but didn't necessarily plan to move in together or get married.
Love is the most profound emotion known to human beings. For most people, romantic relationships are the most meaningful element in their lives. But the ability to have a healthy, loving relationship is not innate. Almost all have experienced a failed relationship, and most of us have to work consciously to master the skills necessary to make them flourish.
Jamison continues:
"Many college-aged adults are students who will soon be facing a transition point in their lives. Most students do not have a definite plan for where they will live or work after graduation, and stayovers are a way for couples to have comfort and convenience without the commitment of living together or having long-term plans."
Nuclear family homes are shrinking in numbers, but they still command a place of status in our cultural imaginations. The married mom and dad and their kids, living together under one roof (with no one else included) is still the reigning image of human togetherness and connection.
The fact is that couples are increasingly living in less traditional ways, as when the two people do not share one home. The number of commuter marriages has been steadily growing. Often, the partners in those marriages are separated by necessity - as when unyielding job requirements demand dual residences. But another marital form, called "living apart together" (LAT), is also making its mark on our demographic map. In many instances, the people in LAT partnerships do want their own places.
Many, of course, still are living the nuclear family life. However inside a nuclear household is now different than what you would have found 20 years previously. Today's couples are less enmeshed. That's just a contemporary reality.
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